Akshay has come home … frustrated from the office. In fact he has been sacked from the job. Pranoti is his wife. She is on treatment for PCOS ( polycystic ovarian syndrome). She is taking treatment from her gynaec for becoming pregnant. She has been told by the doctor that today is “an important day” . The couple must have sex. Pranoti is trying to get her husband to the bed. Akshay is in no mood… It is the stress in his life… added to it is the performance anxiety which is hovering over him. He is unable to perform on the day… leading to further frustration and stress in the couple.
All this was being staged in a Marathi play “Don’t worry, Be Happy” written by Mihir Rajda. The Marathi play is doing well on box office and received lots of appreciation from audience as well as critics. It was the sixtieth show. My wife Dr Smita had given some technical medical inputs to the script. Thus we were invited for the play. The script was brilliant… dialogues sharp… and acting fantabulous. Umesh Kamat ( Akshy) & Spruha Joshi ( Pranoti) were cracking mind blowing humor on stage in this so called serious scene and audience was laughing… At the same time a serious message of how the stress has now creeped in the delicate relationships and into the bedroom was getting registered by the people. The spectators gave a standing ovation at the end of the play and they deserved it.
Being a gynaecologist I hear this every day from my patients. Today I was seeing it in a very hilarious way on the stage. The heroine Pranoti represented the modern age career oriented woman. She had postponed the pregnancy till now… in spite of the her mother’s and mother in law’s advice. The hero is working in corporate sector and burdened with targets. The couple has to kind of struggle to maintain the existing lifestyle. Pranoti is a perfectionist and wants her house to be well kept. She loves her pet dog too. On the other hand, Akshay typically represents “male” upbringing, he can’t cope up with Pranoti’s basic expectations nor does he like the dog. The couple although loves each other and cares for each other they also want their own space. I think it is a perfect setting… Today this is a story of this new generation…
Many couples come to me with a typical problem. In order to prioritize the careers they postpone the pregnancy. At around 30 or above, it is usually the woman who suddenly realizes that they have to now plan a baby. They want everything pre-planned. They expect quick results. They do not mind starting treatment, spending money but want immediate solutions. I distinctly remember one of my patients… The girl wanted to become pregnant in a particular month so that the child will be born in a certain month so that the school admission will not be difficult!
So here are some tips for those planning to be pregnant.
• The couple must have open ended discussion time to time after marriage about pregnancy. It is usually common to see that males want to post pone the pregnancy. A realistic thought must be given to this. Just delaying pregnancy for the sake of nothing may not be a great idea.
• Planned pregnancy is better than unplanned pregnancy.
• Adopt healthy life style. Quit smoking, exercise regularly, eat healthy diet, lose weight (if obese).
• Meet the gynaecologist and get pre-pregnancy investigations done.
• Understand that the egg formation (ovulation) occurs only once in the month. If pregnancy has to occur it will occur around that time. Intercourse before and after cannot lead to pregnancy. But that does not mean that couple should not have intercourse for pleasure and satisfaction.
• Understand that the chance of pregnancy occurring per month is low in human beings. The chance is considered to be just around 15% or so per month. It means out of 100 so to say normal couples only 15 will achieve pregnancy in that month.
• Do not lose the spontaneity in the sex life. The sex has to start from the mind. Do not get mechanical. Accept that performance anxiety is a real and genuine issue. Do not behave as if heavens have fallen if you miss the important day.
• Do not start medical treatment unnecessarily. Going to the doctor and starting the treatment can also cause stress. So first allow your body to work. Only if needed medical treatment should be started.
• Although pregnancy can be planned, it cannot be planned so accurately. Accept that nature and body takes time to work. Take things as they come.
• And lastly the most important thing: “ Don’t worry,be happy”
P.S:
I request the team of “Don’t worry Be happy” to upload the hilarious bedroom scene on You Tube… of course after a while. It can serve as an educational material for those who are planning their pregnancy.